He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
