Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
