Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
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