I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
