Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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