I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
