All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
