he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
