so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
