i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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