I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
