No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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