Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
