Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
