I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize