HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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