ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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