My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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