left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
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Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
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Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake