I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
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No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
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You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.