just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...