he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
