ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you traded sex for a burrito?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
