Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
