if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
