yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
