Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
