do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
