Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
