people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
