I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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