I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
