I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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