We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Even my vagina gasped.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
