I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
