Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize