do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
