did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
