You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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