I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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