I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
