can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
