I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
