Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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