I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We just shotgunned beers for America
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize