Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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