I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
