are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
