you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
