when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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