When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How does it feel to date your dad?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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