He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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