Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize