I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Dick very happy bro
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
