im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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