Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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