so explain again why im purple
no
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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