Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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