Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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