I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
