He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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