i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
