That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
