Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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