38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
