I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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