Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
