You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
