Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Two words: nipple clamps
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