I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
