i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize